The words we speak are not to be taken lightly. They carry the power to build or destroy, heal or harm, add or subtract. Once we release words into our lives and the lives of others, there is a response to what is spoken—good or bad, positive or negative, holy or unholy. If we desire effective communication and healthier relationships, we should care about how our words shape our perceptions and experiences with others and the consequences they bring.
Proverbs 18:21 NLT states, "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."
We have a choice: to bring death or life into our conversations. Are we prepared to reap the consequences or fruit of our worded actions? The prefix 'dis' means "apart, away, deprive, and negative or reversing force."
Let's look at how "dissing" affects our relationships and how this reflects leadership.
The Dissing Game - Disrespect
When we disrespect one another, we send the damaging message that the other person is not honorable or worthy of consideration. This disrespect significantly affects our levels of trust and causes others to feel belittled, invisible, or worthless. As leaders, we should invite others to lift their voices to contribute to the discussion in context, whether in agreement or not, and value their ideas, insights, and influence, making them feel respected and appreciated. Respect is the key to fostering connection in our relationships.
Romans 12:10: "Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other."
The Dissing Game - Disconnect
The goal of disconnection is to sever the relational connection and remain satisfied with a lack of understanding. Disconnection causes distance in physical, emotional, and spiritual interrelatedness. If disconnected, a person cannot show up and provide the care needed for their loved ones. This damages marriages and family dynamics. In leadership, not engaging or bonding with those within your impact, like disrespect, causes dismissal. As leaders, it is our responsibility to address this issue with urgency and understanding to prevent further damage to our relationships.
1 Timothy 5:8: "But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers."
"If we desire effective communication and healthier relationships, we should care about how our words shape our perceptions and experiences with others and the consequences they bring."
The Dissing Game - Dismay
Are you in conflict with family members? Do you want to find a resolution or stay parked in the zone of dismay? Dismay can cause fear and uncertainty that can lead to complete withdrawal. In which isolation can bring forth depression. Responding in such a manner when facing undesired events or challenges can result in the crushing weight of unsupport and giving up. As a leader, dismay will increase anxiety and affect rapport with others. When unsure what to do, ask God to help you.
Isaiah 41:10: "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
The Dissing Game - Disdain
Contempt, also known as disdain, can take several forms, but one that is most obvious and detrimental in families is offense. Unchecked offense grows into unforgiveness, which erodes intimacy in relationships, and not just in a physical way. The manifestation of offense may look like a patronizing attitude, withholding affection, passive-aggressive behavior, or ridiculing. These demoralizing attitudes, actions, or even words can cause emotional distress, feelings of rejection, and dwindling communication. When leaders operate in such a manner, it produces toxic environments that should be safe spaces and places.
Ephesians 4:32: "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
The Dissing Game - Disturb
Disturbance is the interference of peace. It is an intentional strike to cause unsettledness and disorder. Interference in peace may look like not respecting boundaries, making unreasonable demands, causing unnecessary drama, or manipulating, to name a few. Unfortunately, leaders who showcase ungodly disturbances enjoy wearing out the other party instead of fostering peace, which requires self-control.
Matthew 7:12a: "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you."
In our marriages and families, we should aim to model healthy communication, be intentional with our words, and create safe spaces for those around us to speak openly. For emotionally intelligent leaders, we can navigate challenging conversations with care and empathy to promote trust, understanding, and strong relationships.
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How do you handle disagreements or tension, and what strategies have worked for you in keeping the peace and not participating in the dissing game? Are there some inspiring suggestions you would like to share? Leave a comment below. It could help a fellow leader.
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